Chickens

Today I'm thinking about chickens. Why chickens, you ask? They have been brought to mind lately as I have been researching my father's childhood in hopes of writing his life story. I find that he and I had something in common when were were tots. He didn't like chickens and neither did I! His story goes something like this.

Bernie never really had an affinity for the poultry that graced the farm yard. One day when he was about four years old his mother heard a terrible ruckus outside. Peering out the kitchen window she witnessed their mean old rooster chasing a screaming Bernie around the yard. That darned rooster was actually attacking her little boy! After rescuing her son from the cruel bird she decided their dinner that evening would consist of roasted chicken.

Later on the story was a little different. She wasn’t quite as compassionate when having trouble getting her eldest son toilet trained. One day she decided that maybe she could scare him into doing his duty in the right place. The hens of those days were a little different than they are in the present day. Today eggs are hatched in incubators. Broodiness has been bred out of chickens because it reduces egg production. There was a time when the hatching was done by a hen sitting on a nest full of eggs for 21 days Back in those days in the spring time hens would get broody which meant all they wanted to do is find a nest full of eggs to sit on. They would get rather mean and pick at anything that came near. Knowing that Bernie was deathly afraid of “broody” hens, she locked him in the grain bin in the barn with a broody hen. It didn’t work but made the little guy even more afraid of those chickens.

This was not Bernie’s only encounter with farm fowl. One day Bernie was teasing and taunting some of the chickens. After stirring them up and raising their ire he ran for the door of the chicken coop only to find it fastened tight. As he pushed and pushed, trying to escape the angry flock, he heard a tirade of chastisement coming from the other side of the door where his mother was holding the door firmly shut.

When I was a toddler, I remember visiting my grandparents farm and coming away with the same fear and trepidation that my dad encountered there. I don't recall the exact details, as I couldn't have been more than two or three years old, but I must have gone out to the chicken yard with grandma. I imagine she went to feed them and, being the curious sort, I tagged along.
However, once within the confines of the fenced in area where the chicken resided, I wasn't nearly as interested. In fact, I became downright scared! Those feathered fiends all seemed to be coming at me at once and they had sharp little beaks and made a lot of noise and furiously flapped their wings at me. Later, in the safety of my own room at home, with my mom and dad near by, I still couldn't forget that traumatic experience. Most kids think there are monsters in their closets. I thought there were chicks under my bed. I just couldn't rest that night until my mother had gathered the imaginary hatchlings into her apron and tossed them out the door.

I can not imagine where the term "to be chicken" or "chicken out" came from. Those foul creatures are certainly not "chicken." Maybe it's because they are bullies and make others "chicken."

As I was thinking about chickens today I realized that there are countless phrases that refer to poultry. Consider these: Caught with egg on your face. The rooster makes all the noise, but the hen rules the roost! The rooster may rule the roost, but the hen rules the rooster! Fussing like an old hen. Quit your squawking. Nest egg. Scratching out a living. Up with the chickens. Walking on eggshells. Fly the coop. Dumb cluck. Yolks on you. Does a chicken have lips? Hen party. Chicken feed. Birds of a feather flock together. Don't want to put up a squawk. Hatch an idea. Coming home to roost. Pecking order. Henpecked. Rule the Roost. Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Not everything it's cracked up to be. Something to crow about. Hen cackle. To be a Mother Hen. Don't brood over it. Madder than a wet hen. To lay an egg. Run around like a chicken with its head cut off. Ruffle your feathers. Stick in your craw. Bad egg. Nobody here but us chickens. Strutting' your stuff. To bed with the chickens. Feather our nests. I'm going to wring his neck. As scarce as hen's teeth.

Those chickens sure are popular! I think where they're most popular though is in the stewing pot, or on a barbeque, or in the oven. To this day, my dad's favorite meal consists of fried chicken, baked beans and potato salad. I rather like to eat chicken myself! Do you suppose that's our final say over our former tormentors?